Mad monkey sank at 37N, 84W
Head due east from the pond to the dinosaur.
Head north towards the pile of rocks.
Head east to an X.
To find sword master: [Back, Right, Right, Left, Back]
To get back home: [Back, Left, Left, Right, Back]
To use safe: [Left, Right, Right, Right, Left, Right, Open]
You fight like a dairy farmer!
I will milk every drop of blood from your body!
= How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
I'm going to put my sword through you like a shish kebab!
My tongue is sharper than any sword.
= First you better stop waving it like a feather duster.
There are no words for how disgusting you are.
There are no clever moves that can help you now.
= Yes there are. You just never learned them.
I've heard you are a contemptible sneak.
My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!
= Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all.
I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
My last fight ended with my hands covered in blood.
= I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.
I've got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!
= I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.
I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.
Only once have I met such a coward!
= He must have taught you everything you know.
People always fall at my feet when they see me coming.
My wisest enemies run away at the first site of me!
= Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!
You're a pain in the backside, Sir!
= Your haemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!
= So you got a job as a janitor, after all.
Nobody has ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.
No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do.
= You run that fast?
You have the manners of a beggar.
Every word you say to me is stupid.
= I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.
I've spoken with apes more polite than you.
I usually see people like you passed out on tavern floors.
Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.
= I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.
= Why, did you want to borrow one?
This is the end for you, you gutter crawling cur!
I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today.
= And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?
You make me want to puke.
If your brother's like you, better to marry a pig.
= You make me think somebody already did.